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Still I Look to Find a Reason to Believe

Warning: Suzanne’s about to go all philosophical on you, with thanks to that famous philosopher Rod Stewart for the blog title. Yes, I minored in philosophy, so I kant help myself (bad philosophy nerd pun).

One of the themes that seems to crop up in my writing is the side-effects of this odd world we live in, straddling an uncomfortable line between faith and logic, between magic and science.

I’m trying to build a career writing about creatures I don’t believe in. I don’t believe vampires are real, or shapeshifters, or witches, or merfolk, or any of the beings that populate my novels. I’m a product of the age of science.

EXCEPT (and you knew there was a “but”) I do believe in God, in the Judeo-Christian faith of which I am also a product, despite the fact that there are witches and sorcerers and seers and ghosts and demons and all kinds of supernatural critters in the Bible.

Doesn’t make sense, does it? As vampire Aidan says in my novel REDEMPTION: “It’s just one big f***ng paradox.”

A theme that unconsciously popped up as I wrote the first two books in my Sentinels of New Orleans series (hey Tor, I’m ready to write No. 3 as soon as you say the word!) was how science has robbed the world of magic. Sure, science has a power all its own, but it’s a power that plays by the rules. It doesn’t frighten us (nuclear missiles in the hands of madmen notwithstanding), or fire up our imaginations, or burden our souls, or make our spirits soar. Magic does all that–faith in something we believe exists but can’t see.

My character Gerry, a wizard who hates the fact that he has to keep his powers hidden, says: “It would do ordinary humans good to learn there’s still a bit of magic left in the world. They’ve put all their faith in science and damned near lost their souls in the process.”

I don’t know what it all means, except maybe that while I don’t believe in the things I write about, there’s a part of me (especially the part who reads Black Dagger Brotherhood books) that really WANTS them to be real.

As Aidan says, it’s just one big effing paradox. Anybody out there got the answers?

Good VS Great

This week’s topic:  Do our own beliefs/experiences of the supernatural affect what we write?

Short answer:  No.

Long answer:  If it did, I’d be writing this blog from a padded room.

I’m going to veer off course here for this blog post and talk a little about internal conflict, the little annoying sister to external conflict. 

In paranormal romance you have action, danger and suspense.  The plots are dark and seductive, and the characters are larger than life.  It’s so easy to get caught in external motivation when writing paranormal romance.  The plots seem to write themselves, right?  Not so much.

I’m going to use Lover Awakened by J.R. Ward as an example of what internal motivation can do for a book.  Lover Awakened is one of my favorite paranormal romances, and I’m sure most paranormal fans have read it.  It’s – in my opinion – the most highly praised book of Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood series.  There’s a reason for that. 

Z finds Bella.  He pulls her out of a darkened hole, finds her battered and stitched together, and takes her to safety.  He must find the person responsible for doing this to her.  External conflict

Z thinks he’s a nasty bastard.  He’s so screwed up in the head that he can’t imagine Bella would ever want to be with him.  This internal conflict is heartbreaking.  It takes his character to another level.  He’s no longer your typical tortured male.  He’s broken.  Miserable.  He’s dying inside because he loves her so much, but he doesn’t feel worthy of her love.  At one point he actually tells Bella not to be a tragedy.  He says this because he thinks that little of himself.  Internal conflict

Well…the book is largely based on internal conflict, and that’s what makes this book so compelling.  Ward gives you action and suspense.  She gives you amazing world building.  But most of all, she gives you a character to love. 

To put it simply, Ward gives you layers. 

I think that’s what separates the books we love from the books we like.  I can remember Z’s pain – and his eventual, well-deserved happiness – years after reading that book.

Internal and external conflict should compliment each other.  Ward does such a fantastic job of this in her book, you can’t put it down. 

What does this have to do with the topic of the week?  Good question. 

You can layer world-building into your paranormal until you’re red in the face.  You might write about ghosts because you’ve always wondered about life after death.  You can write about vampires because you think those mythical creatures are intense and seductive.  You can write about shape-shifters because you’re a dog lover…hell, I don’t know.  BUT!  If you don’t add depth and internal conflict to your paranormal world, the book will be just another good read. 

And who wants that?  Why not write a great book?

Internal conflict has been on my mind since I’ve been editing my latest book.  I’m woman enough to admit (publicly) that I was missing something.  I had a great external conflict…car chases…gun fights…you name it.  Lots of action and betrayal.  Unfortunately I was missing the internal conflict.  Trust me.  It’s the last thing you want to find out on an editing pass. 

So that’s what I wanted to blog about.  I hope I tied it into the topic of the week a little. 

Having said that…I’m off to write a great book. 

A Dark and Delicious Holiday Season

What turns you on about the holidays?  The food?  The gifts?  The holiday parties?

Well, I have a party that will be painless to attend…or will it? <insert maniacal laughter here>

I’ve joined the Evernight Publishing team for a hot, kinky holiday anthology that is bound to get you in the mood for the holidays.  Or, just get you in the mood.  It is entitled ‘Twas a Dark and Delicious Christmas and I’ve seen some of the titles for the other stories and I think this book will get your chestnuts roasting in a hurry.  My story is Holly’s Clause and features a hunky UPS man and a demon named Tan.  More details to come at the launch party.

All the stories are “dark” as in paranormal and all the stories are “delicious” as in sexier than Colin Firth in that wet shirt (sigh).  So, to kick off the release of this 13 author anthology, I’m inviting all of you to my Book Boost Blog on December 8th for an all day BLOG FEST with prizes and guest authors and who knows what will happen when you mix a bunch of erotic writers with a holiday full of spirits.

I’m giving away a pair of collectible Harley Davidson Biker Santa boxer shorts!  Love long.  Ride Hard.  Oh wait, I think I got that slogan a bit wrong.  Oops!

Basically, we are going to have a great time and I hope you’ll join us!  Until then, I’ll leave you with an article about how a classic Thankgiving dessert can lead to a better sex life.  Dig in!  Enjoy.

“Throw away the perfume and go get some pumpkin pie,” said Dr. Alan Hirsch, Director of Chicago’s Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Center.

In a study of men ages 18 to 64, 40 aromas were tested to determine which arouses men the most. The smell of pumpkin pie topped ladies’ fragrances.”The number one odor that enhanced penile blood flow was a combination of lavender and pumpkin pie,” said Hirsch.

Hirsch said that combination increased penile blood flow by an average of 40 percent in participants.Pumpkin pie was the single strongest stimulant.”Maybe the odors acted to reduce anxiety. By reducing anxiety, it acted to remove inhibitions,” said Hirsch.

Pumpkin pie isn’t the only Thanksgiving favorite that arouses a man. The same study showed that older men showed a strong response to vanilla.If your partner enjoys sex on a regular basis, allow him to pull the strawberry-rhubarb pie out of the oven.  Men with the most satisfying sex lives responded strongly to strawberry.

“Every odor we tested aroused the participants,” said Hirsch.However, not all of them created strong responses. Therefore, you may want to keep your man away from the cranberry sauce.  The aroma of cranberry offered the smallest increase in blood flow, only two percent.

There is some good news, Hirsch said: “Nothing turns a man off.”

This Thanksgiving, if you want a little something extra to be thankful for, you may be able to create a big change in the bedroom by making a little change in the kitchen.

Source: http://www.wpbf.com/health/25853470/detail.html

My comments:  What if we incorporate the pumpkin pie into the bedroom?  Double the calories?  I mean, passion?  Hmmm…perhaps a scene from my next erotic novella.  And the title could be…. (see contest below)

Contest time:

As my thanks to all my lovely friends and blog followers, a PDF copy of your choice from my backlist to one commenter from today. Just give me a great title for my next erotic novella.

And the winner of my tiny print copy of Vegan Moon (from two posts ago) is Carol Shenold!   CONGRATS!  Please contact me via my website to claim your prize.

Hope you and yours have a dark & delicious holiday season.

The Holidays are Upon Us!

Where has the year gone? Does anyone else fee like 2010 is slowly slipping through their fingers? Surely I can’t be the only crazy bitch who’s taken on more than her share this time of year. Isn’t it somehow in the genetic makeup of women?

I’m trying to move not only our lovely WITS blog to blogger, but also two others as well – Wicked Writers and Everything Erotic. On top of building a new publisher website, designing book covers and website banners, edit for others and upload various ebooks to multiple publishing platforms across the web.

My vacation earlier this month seems like a dream. I’ve got an in-law coming to stay today ’til Saturday and both my kids have birthday parties that need planning the weekend after Thanksgiving. Oh – and then another ebook and a print anthology coming out next month as well.

Will my marketing campaign my husband has been working on launch before Christmas or will his contact brush him off yet again? Damn those buggers and pro-bono work – why can’t my stuff be given the same treatment as the paying gigs? Yeah, yeah, we all know the answer to that. The economy is tight and I better just sit patiently and wait.

Clean the house, put clean sheets on the guest bed, cook ahead of time so I can relax with company, do laundry so the nine sorting baskets that normally line the upstairs hallway can be stacked and hidden, shop for fresh veggies, dye my hair (eek-gads how long are those damn roots?!?), put away all the mounds of clean clothes now littering my master bedroom, clean the clutter out of my dining room so my mother in law doesn’t think we never use it, make a dent in the piles of stuff throughout my library (where I work day in and day out)…  the sad part here, is I could go on and on.

I bet a lot of you are in the same boat. The multiple hats we all wear as writers can be incredibly overwhelming. The days of writing a book and sitting back while some large company sells it for us are long gone.

Has anyone noticed in my long list of to-do items not once did I mention writing? Sure I write blogs, I write sex toy reviews, I churn out an erotica piece every month… but I’ve neglected my own manuscript for far too long.

I vow to get myself back on track before Christmas rolls around.

*Que the inspiration music*

I vow to dig out from the piles of crap weighing me down and I vow to do it with grace and dignity.

Okay, maybe that last part is just a wild ass dream.

How about the rest of you? Please tell me I’m not a crazy, driven, workaholic bitch all by my lonesome?

I LOVE YOU-I HATE YOU!

Writing—How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

 1. I love thee because you silence the voices in my head. You make demons, circus clowns, and flying monkeys a little less scary. You make falling down a deep, dark hole, being swallowed by a whale, or loving the undead okay. You make dragon riding, surviving a plane crash, or marrying a billionaire possible.

 2. I love thee because you are non-judgmental. You allow me to pour as little or as much of myself into everything I write—be it hate mail to the airlines or a love scene between a hermaphroditic weremoose and a wood sprite. You embrace my every whim, accepting each turn of phrase, each ridiculous or brilliant idea, and every quirky character that pops into my head.

 3. I love thee because I finally have friends who don’t look at me with glazed expressions or tight smiles when I describe the ideas swimming in my head. I love that each outing or event is a field trip for research—shopping trip to a sex shop, research—bachelorette party, research—Caribbean cruise, research. I love the conferences organized for people like me, by people like me, who need a legal creative fix.

 4. I love thee because I can write in my sweats and polar fleece, I love that technology allows me to write in the car or at my kids events. I love the online workshops, loops, and blogs. I love the massive amount of support for writers online. I love that I’m never alone. If I log onto Facebook or a loop at three in the morning, somebody will be awake.

 5. But most of all, I love thee writing because in you I found myself. The warrior, the lover, the coward, the villain—they all exist in harmony because of writing.

  But I also want to scratch your eyes out.

 1. I hate thee writing because you are an addiction I can’t cure. Unless I’m heavily medicated, the storylines continue to beat against the inside of my skull—all the time—whenever they want—no matter how inconvenient. Like the time I was eating at Sizzler and tried to nonchalantly snap a photo of a guy I thought would be a great secondary character. Luckily, he gave me my phone back.

 2. I hate thee because I now spell check everything I write including my To Do lists. Green underlined words make me crazy. I will spend two minutes looking up a synonym so I don’t use the same word twice in a sentence, even if it’s a note to the teacher explaining I can chaperone the field trip.

 3. I hate thee writing because you allow me to write in my sweat pants, naked, or in my pajamas. There’s not a lot of incentive to buy pants without elastic waistbands.

 4. I hate thee writing because I’m home to answer the door for every religious group, crazy neighbor, or Girl Scout. Curse those thin mints! Not answering the doorbell or phone makes me nuts.

 5. And lastly, I hate thee writing because you are hard. I will never know it all. I will never write a perfect draft the first time. I will never not have to edit. I will always be competing for those precious spots with agents and editors. And I will always have the next story pushing against my current WIP, wanting to get out. I hate thee writing because we will never be parted.

The Good, the Bad, the Ugly of Being an Author

Being an author is a mixed bag, and I’m not sure I could ever top Dawn’s list (read below). But here goes, in no particular order:

What I hate about being an author:

1) I used to work 40-50 hours a week on a day job, then come home and talk to friends, watch TV, go to movies, and read a lot. Now, I work 40-50 hours a week on a day job, then come home and work four or five more hours on being an author. I feel as if I Work. All. The. Freaking. Time. I enjoy it, but: Dude, I missed the entire final season of LOST. I mean, really.

2) The synopsis. Nothing more needs to be said about such an evil entity.

3) The need for shameless self-promotion. Really. I feel like a publicity whore. Where in all the networking and platforming and tweeting and swimming and diving (well, you know what I mean) does the writing take place? And if I’ve gotta market, can’t I, like, interview male cover models or something?

4) The first draft. Nothing more needs to be said about something so ridiculously painful.

5) The glacial pace at which things happen in the publishing industry. OMG. I could have hand-printed ten-thousand copies of my first book and hand-delivered each one individually while traveling by pack mule by the time that freakin’ book is going to launch.

But for the bad and the ugly, there are mitigating goods:

1) Networking. Writers, agents, and editors are incredibly supportive, usually willing to commiserate, and often available to help procrastinate. And you’ve gotta love that.

2) Having complete strangers rip my work to shreds has helped me develop a thicker skin that I’m sure will help me someday. I guess. Ouch.

3) Learning about a new industry is always interesting, and book publishing is a world unto itself. And that was before all the rules started changing.

4) There’s always the hope that the next manuscript, the next big idea, will be The One. Writers are optimists; we have to be. And the anticipation is an amazing rush.

5) It’s cool to be an author. I mean really. Admit it.

My Love/Hate Relationship With Writing

This week’s topic made me laugh – Five things we love about being a writer, and five things we hate about being a writer.  So here goes…

First thing I love about being a writer – I love the process of crafting a story.  When I start a new story I feel like it’s Christmas morning.  I’m unwrapping new conflicts, discovering new characters, and sharing what I’ve found with my writing buddies. 

First thing I hate about being a writer – I hate the process of crafting a story.  After all the presents are open, I have to clean up.  There are plot holes to fix, characters to flesh out, and Lord knows my grammar isn’t perfect.  By chapter three I can see all of the flaws…they blink at me like cheap Christmas lights.  Somehow I have to shut off my internal editor and convince myself to keep writing.

Second thing I love about being a writer – Finishing the first draft.  It’s DONE.  It’s OVER.  I crafted a story from nothing but a vague idea, and I made it into a novel.  Best feeling in the world!

Second thing I hate about being a writer – Finishing the first draft.  Wait.  Wait just a damned minute.  Are you telling me I have to go back through this POS again?  How many editing passes do I have to make?  What will it take to make the crap I just spewed out fantastic?  Will it ever be fantastic? 

Third thing I love about being a writer – Completing that first edit.  I did it!  I made it better, strengthened the character’s motivations, added detail…it’s starting to resemble a real book.

Third thing I hate about being a writer – Completing that first edit.  Wait.  Wait just a damned minute.  Are you telling me I have to go back through this POS again?  How many editing passes do I have to make?  What will it take to make the crap I just spewed out fantastic?  Will it ever be fantastic? 

Fourth thing I love about being a writer – Finishing my last edit and sending that bitch out to my crit partner.  The day I send my ms to my crit partner goes something like this:  She’s going to love it.  This story is going to blow her  away!  I totally nailed the GMC, fixed all the grammar, and kept the writing tight.  I dare her to find something to red line.

Fourth thing I hate about being a writer – Sending that bitch out to my crit partner.  The day after I send my ms to my crit partner goes something like this:  She hates it.  How could she like the absolute shit I sent her?  It’s boring.  The beginning of chapter two is nothing but narrative.  The black moment is more like a gray moment.  Where’s the tension?  Where’s the plot?  Where’s my drink??

The fifth thing I love about being a writer – Getting a positive response from my crit partner.  “Holy crap, this is great!  I loved this and that and especially when you did this.”   That’s when I sit back and thank God I didn’t waste my time writing a shitty book.

The fifth thing I hate about being a writer – Getting a negative response from my crit partner.  “Dude.  Were you drinking when you wrote this?  I’d shelve it.”  Don’t think I haven’t heard that before.  Don’t think you won’t. 

Hate is such a strong word.  I’m not sure I’d have used the word hate…perhaps dislike is a better word.  I experience a lot of ups and downs when I’m writing.  There are times I whip right through a first draft, and other times when I struggle to write every paragraph. 

Remember the infamous line from Brokeback Mountain?  “I wish I knew how to quit you.”  They loved each other, but everything stood in their way.  There are a lot of things that stand in our way when we write.  Kids, work, spouses, housework, so on and so forth.  And once you get your story written and edited – which is a feat in itself – you move on to the submission process.  Is there anything more daunting for an aspiring writer?  Hell, even a writer who has been around the block tends to bite their nails when they hit send. 

I can’t begin to describe how many writers I know who have doubts and fears regarding their writing, or even the writing process.  We always want to know what another writer’s process is.  It reminds me of all the dieting books out there.  Dude, to lose weight you eat less and exercise more.  That’s it.  But everyone searches for that magic pill that will make you a size 6 in a week.  Yeah, that’s not going to happen.

Well, a writing process is this – YOU WRITE.  Some writers use spreadsheets, others use notebooks, and others create storyboards to keep their plot points in order.  Bottom line?  They write.  You might be a pantser (organic writer, for those who prefer that label), or a plotter.  End result?  YOU WRITE.  There is no magic pill.  Writing takes time and effort.

That’s what the love/hate relationship is all about.  You doubt, you fear, you triumph, you falter, you persist – all because you love what you do. 

When all else fails you tweet or hang out on Facebook. 

Workshops 101: My Top Tips

Okay, I’ll admit I’m a reformed workshop junkie. “Reformed” only because I now limit them to one every month or two, and only when I can pay attention. I realized it had gotten out of hand when I unwittingly (i.e., stupidly) signed up for six. I still haven’t read all the notes.

Have they been useful? Mostly, yes. There have been a few duds. Usually, though, they at least have made me think and, at best, have either given me new tools to use in the ongoing process of improving my writing skills or helped in some other phase of my writing career.

So I dug back through my reams of notes, and came up with the tips I’ve found most valuable, in no particular order. Four of the five actually have to do with helping me analyze my own writing–helping me take a step back from it and look at it in a different way to see if there are things I could change to improve it.

1) BACKLOAD YOUR SENTENCES. This is an interesting exercise, and it simply means to look at your sentences and put the most impactful words at the end. Look at this sentence: “Mud sucked at his shoes as he stepped back to view the car’s position.” What are the strongest words in the sentence? I’d say “mud sucked at his shoes.” So how about flipping it: “He stepped back to gauge the car’s position, the thick red mud sucking at his shoes.” That’s not the strongest example in the world, but you get the idea.

2) TEST YOUR MAN’S MANLINESS. Many of us are women trying to write in a male POV; a man writing in a woman’s POV would have the same issues. Does your hero really sound like a guy, or is he a girl with a few extra appendages? Copy and paste one of your chapters into the Gender Genie and see which gender it thinks your POV character is. It’s not a perfect test, but it’s a nice little gauge to use (and free).

3) MAKE YOUR CHARACTERS CONSISTENT. I actually blogged about this yesterday at my personal blog–using Enneagrams, a personality typing system, to test against your character to see if he or she is behaving in a consistent manner. The theory is that there are nine core personalities (and infinite variables within the nine, of course). By typing your character’s core personality, you can see what might be most likely to push his buttons or turn him on–or win his heart. It’s a fascinating system.

4) EXPLODE YOUR PARAGRAPHS. This is a great way to force yourself to take another look at your writing from a different viewpoint. To see if it works for you, take a paragraph from an emotionally charged section of your manuscript, and copy and paste it onto a blank screen. Now, blow it apart. Separate the sentences with a few lines between them so you’re reading each sentence in isolation. Can it be tweaked to increase the emotional intensity? Does it say anything about your character or scene–could it be added to? If it doesn’t say anything, could it be cut? Between that sentence and the next , could some emotional intensity be added with just a word, or a detail, or a new sentence?

5) BOOKS ARE DEDUCTIBLE! Not a writing tip but an interesting point for a book junkie like myself. I knew that writing books were tax-deductible. Also books I’ve bought for research. But here are some other purchases that can go on your Schedule C: books I’ve bought as giveaways for my blog (and the postage costs to mail them); books I’ve bought to support fellow writers/crit group members (considered “professional development”); books I’ve bought to check out a certain author in my genre that I might not have bought otherwise; books recommended by my agent or editor as being similar to mine or as an example of the type of thing they’re looking for. In other words, ask the question: If I were not a writer, would I have bought this book? If the answer is no, count it.

So, in a nutshell, have I picked up anything useful from online workshops? You bet. What’s your favorite workshop tip?

Get Classy With It!

For those of you that are familiar with writing workshops, I ask you these 5 questions:

Are you addicted to taking online writing workshops?

Do they really work?

Have you ever used anything you’ve learned from an online class in a practical way in your writing?

How many classes have you signed up for but never really participated in (only to tuck the lessons away for “when you have more time”)?

How much have you spent in 1 year on online classes?

As a regular participant in online classes, a teacher of online writing classes, AND the Education Cooridinator who schedules online classes for her writing chapter, I have a pretty thorough understanding of what is out there these days.

To answer those questions above, I don’t think I’m addicted to classes but I’ve certainly taken plenty that I never ended up participating in due to time restraints or conflicts only to wish that I hadn’t wasted the money to sign up in the first place.  I’ve spent at much as $200 in a year on classes.  Let’s face it, at $15 to $30 bucks a pop, that’s easy to do.

But do they really work?  Have I ever used or applied anything I’ve learned from them?

I believe that like anything in life, most classes will give you back as much as you put into them.  With the exception of a few classes that I felt were either thrown together and lacked substance and a couple offered by “big name” authors because they knew folks would sign up to learn from them (but they didn’t really show up to TEACH us), I’ve been very pleased with most of my choices.

When selecting a class as a student, I first look at the subject matter and see if it is something that I need help or improvement on.  Then, I look at the instructor and do a little research to see what makes them qualified to instruct me on that topic.

I’ve definitely used lessons that I’ve learned in class.  Particularly when it comes to editing, dialogue, and research.  These classes have been most helpful to me in recent years.

So, I’d love to hear from each of you.  As I’m lining up classes to teach and be taught for 2011, I’d love to hear your good/bad experiences with online writing classes.

I also invite you to join me in any of my upcoming classes.  My latest schedule from December 2010 and on into 2011 is located on my website here.  Kerri’s Workshop Schedule.

And the classes that I’ve booked for Celtic Hearts Romance Writers through June (open to anyone) can be found here.  Celtic Hearts Schedule.

Until next time…learn to love and love to learn!